You did that once after drunk driving from a photo shoot
That was very cool/italian of you
Which brings me to my next point, how come italians are so well adapted to drunk driving
wakey wakey hands off snakey
my cat ate my toast this morning while i was getting dressed. i can already tell today is going to suck.
I made $300 today by selling pizza @ $4 a slice to nerds who refuse to leave the library. God I love finals time
is it sad that I can recall my outfits by who took them off?
searching "dave" under the university of pittsburgh on facebook was not exactly how i hoped to find my baby daddy
Should I be curious about Jeffrey randomly sending me a picture of him holding a crab, or just move on with my life?
Seriously, do normal people actually get work done being this hungover? No wonder the economy's in the shitter
On the way home she put on a necklace with her name on it and wrote my name in sharpie across my chest so that in the morning we could avoid the awkward Idk who the fuck you are conversation. Best. Girl. Ever.
I'm not worried. All I have to do is not be the drunkest painter at 8:00. Golden.
I was just doing the math on how much beer we need for the houseboat. in doing so, I came to the conclusion that we need to open a beer distributor business.
Accidentally typed message to mom that included word "kink." FML. Played it off as autocorrect from "drink" which was somehow more acceptable
it's a shower with the lights off kind of day
Just puked in front of a high school tour group. Based on the standing ovation, we have a solid group of freshman coming in this fall.
It's National Whipped Cream Day, prep those nips
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