There's a 34yo winking at me. Why do i find this weird when my bf is a 38yo married man?
Holy shit! This guy had his hands and feet handcuffed and was scooting across the interstate and we almost hit him because it was so dark. I hate Louisiana.
Thank God for cruise control and the Starbucks cup I had to puke in.
im already regretting the extreme lack of break up sex that took place
Apple trackpads and semen don't mix. On the way to the Apple Store.
I like to think of you as more a magic eight ball of my life's journey?
I am currently watching him baptize himself in a baby pool with a handle of belvedere while wearing a coral dress.
I want to have sex with him.
The girls danced. I drank. Then I danced cause I was drunk. Then I ripped tim's shirt off cause I'm awesome.
Until this weekend, a man hadn't made me orgasm since the night Obama was elected. Now THAT is change I can believe in.
I imagine I kinda look like a banana with one boob out.
When you get a chance, you should call Nick. He REEAAAALLLLLY wants to hear you make chewbacca noises.
He's wearing my bra and eating a breadstick while jumping on our bed.....
Is it a bad thing when vodka doesn't taste like vodka anymore?
I told him that he could either pay the 10 dollars for the box of condoms or I'll make him pay for the diapers.
There were no words. I got in his car, took my pants off, threw my shirt out the window, and got things started. After we were done I collected my clothes, gave him a kiss, and crept back into my house.
You're like the sex ninja. How doesn't he love you?!
Randomize
