if i'm ever as drunk as the girl in front of me... kill me.
I don't know what you were told but i for sure didn't sleep with any one but steve's couch.
Sometimes I wonder why.. Then I realize I can't fool myself with that question bc we all know it's bc of his enormous dick
I knew shit got real when the pinapple was gone and people were just passing around the core and gnawing on it.
I've decided, even as much fun as it sounds, I don't care for his sodomy box.
i go for whatevers easier....i'm bisexual strictly due to the convenience factor
You rubbing siracha on a cat with your feet is the opposite of what I want.
We now know how the night ended in arrest according to the flip camera I did 10 handle pulls and beer bonged a 40. My life choices are getting worse and worse this is your fault.
We're gonna have screwdrivers in a cab at 4am?
Is that weird?
I'm like a magical alcohol dispenser. I pulled this kahlua out of my vagina.
Would it be a good deed to leave a 32 pack of bud light next to a bum sleeping in the park?
I've never seen an uncircumcised dick in real life and the internet indicates I don't want to.
What is my life coming to that I have to cross state lines to get laid?
Awesome. I did a rain go away dance. And it went away. Nbd just cotrollin the weather with my mind and sweet dance moves
i got drunk and started dancing with the plant because you were out of town
Randomize
