I thought this kinda shit only happens to ugly people
I literally ate my thanksgiving dinner while getting a lapdance. And honestly, after that, there is no other way.
im goin to the NYE party with a tuxedo painted on my body. i know a girl who does it. wanna join?
I think I ruined Robin and Mikes anniversary. I walked in on them fucking, accidentally broke the necklace he gave her, and I stole the keg from their party. Not in that order
They had some plan b on the table between the beer and the guacamole. Yeah, it's gonna be a fun party.
How's your threesome situation going?
Optimistic
Don't send the creepy guy a picture of your penis. That's my Christmas wish
i made this one couple from ohio so uncomfortable that they left....and that was WHEN I HAD PANTS ON
You slid down the wall and got into the fetal position. He was definitely judging... I was judging....
Just chugged a Bloody Mary in 60 seconds flat. New personal best! Happy Sunday!
My plan for the weekend: 1) Get shit faced in Vegas. 2) Not die
We don't have the same problems as normal people do we?
Appreciate the offer but I'm a huge fan of penis
When a guy invites you to dinner and breakfast the next day it's implied that he's going to make some sweet loving in betwixt correct?
we panicked because we couldn't find you anywhere, but then we found you tripping in the bathtub with Marie's cat. there was no water. you thought there was water, though.
Randomize
