I don't know where I am, but its a Goosebumps novel waiting to happen.
I just saw my grandmother naked. again. this needs to stop now.
I'm taking child development now so if you get pregnant i can raise your child no worries
Well, shes famous, an alcoholic, hillarious, and has big boobs.... Pretty much my only aspirations in life.
it's sad when i round the corner and the dog goes directly for the liquor store
At the bar. Madeline and I totally brought our own pitcher from home because they always run out. Hello alcoholism.
Don't you dare blame me for walking in one walking in on ur fuck session....u decided to fuck where we hid our booze
apparently I crawled into someone's bed and demanded they call me 'big dog' before shotgunning a beer
Sunrise bitch. You owe me waffles
Letting two friends screw at my place in exchange for weed. This is my life.
HE'S BRINGING FRIED MAC AND CHEESE BITES. I GET FRIED MAC AND CHEESE AND SEX PEOPLE. BEST WEDNESDAY EVER.
my new years resolution to eat more toast and mastrubate more often is going well so far.
STOP GETTING GIRLS PREGNANT IN MY BED.
I don't think "growing medical marijuana" is Quite what my Grandfather had in mind when he thought me about gardening as a child
I mean seriously...It's like the universe is saying "your vagina is closed, move along"
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