She told me to "stuff her hole like a build-a-bear". I was so drunk I didn't even think that was weird.
just saw 2 fat kids fight for the last slice of pizza. Litteraly fight. God Bless America
No. untill you have done a puke that contains nothing but semen and tequila, you do not 'feel my pain'
So the bar isnt gonna put that broken window on my tab. appaerently they want cash
I made a blanket fort and am drinking Gatorade and eating donuts watching 500 days of summer. I can't keep spending my saturdays like this.
Overall win. We all know who got to sleep on the concrete outside of Denny's with you.
I feel like when purchasing hard liquor on a Monday I also need to buy a happy 21st bday card to not seem so pathetic
her vagina just converted me to Judaism.
Is everyone touching their nose at me a sign that I should stop snorting vicodin off my phone in the bathroom at school?
I think you're too young for vagina rejuvenation but I guess you have never been one to listen. Sounds good! You bring the Percocet ill bring the vodka!
Just saw a government minister puke and rally.
we're having rib night followed by a cultural enlightenment party
whats a cultural enlightenment party
we eat nachos and drink margaritas and tequila till we pass out
Omg no hes gotta go down on me. Then itll be like my vagina has kissed the stanley cup.
Is talking to an iron man poster a good or bad indicator that you've been drinking too much?
She's gonna be mad if she finds out you put weed in her house warming cookies
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