I saw her while sober, and she is definately cut off from the penis ride
Something in my vomit makes me think I shouldn't have had that slurpee
watching E! true Hollywood story: curse of the lottery.. i'd probably spend all my money on blow and airplanes too..
there's a lady drinking out of a red cup in class. HAPPY FRIDAY
NEWS FLASH: A bottle of wine can fit into a taco bell cup.
Definitely got drunk and sent her a literal picture of my asshole. I titled it " you"
I researched the whole pregnancy breast feeding with piercings. I think you dont have to worry about the trifecta milk spraying thing.
I just can't have sex with a guy who has nicer eyebrows than me
I just woke up eating some beef jerky with my cat. I think she opened the bag for us.
I fell asleep on the air hockey table and someone turned it on, scariest shit ever when you're that fucked up
I was drunk while I accepted my job offer. Here's to growing up.
When a guy asks for your ig but you already know his blood type, social security number, & mother's maiden name.
I need to stop adding people I want to bone on LinkedIn.
..... starting now
Never in my life have I seen a grown ass man get on all fours and attempt to buttfuck himself with the leg of a chair. I love Vegas!
I collect Covid conspiracy theories like I collect Pokemon.
Randomize
