I heard it from a little bird bananas is gonna be there
Is this bird reliable bc I don't wanna be wasted running around the bar asking where bananas is
it's my fault, I passed out instead of getting up to pee.
mom just said that her bf is good in bed. fml.
i am watching a movie about a vagina with teeth and then you sent that to me while im eating sushi.
He yelled "HERE COMES THE WARMTH" before he pissed his pants. In front of the whole party.
So there is a guy driving a robot around the college of engineering selling energy drinks
You can identity the picture as me the mistress his wife and him. It's that kinda awkard.
He broke hus nose arm jousting with the traffic cones... We need to make head shots illegal or get helmets or something
I sent "Rawrrrr" to 151 matches on Tinder. I feel like thats a substantial size of the DC female population.
I'm playing a lilo and stitch drinking game
Aloha alcoholism.
You're talking about alcohol when the smell of hand sanitizer is too much for me right now
See I insist I'm not a groupie and then I say things like "will bang for a backstage pass".
My professor just asked for my number. Not fucking her till after finals though I learned my lesson last time.
Went and sat in the wrong fucking class for 30 mins, answering questions and shit. What ever this is i will be on it for the rest of the semester.
sooo, that video of you eating lasangna with the strobe going magically reappeared on my phone
It's official. My little brother has had more sex in my car than I have. I'm still tied with my little sister. I hate everybody.
Randomize