I am spending my child support on dildos
My brother and I both agreed that your boobs are fake.
since when did accompanying a guy to a wedding mean that anal was required that night?
I literally ate my thanksgiving dinner while getting a lapdance. And honestly, after that, there is no other way.
Is it bad that I stopped wanting to fuck her as soon as I noticed she had dry skin?
I sometimes completely doubt that you're straight.
I FUCKING SERVED PEOPLE AND POURDED JUGS AND GOT FREE BEEEEEEEERERTERRY
IT'S LINGERIE PURCHASED FROM A FLEA MARKET, THE ONLY THING IT'S GOING TO BE POSITIVE FOR IS A TEST FOR HIV
I convinced every single one of my cousins to bring me a glass of wine. I was the alcoholic queen and they were my subjects.
I dont even think your gonna like what I got you for christmas. If not we can take it back and get drugs.
Because nothing screams stable like yelling at a guy in a bar because last time you hooked up he stole your underwear.
It's gay pride, I'm in my EMT uniform getting more girls than your straight ass ever will..
First day back to class and I have already pulled out the hard liquor
Every time we have sex, I feel his dick ramming my soul into submission. Problem is..... I LIKE THAT SHIT!
It's one of the few times I hit fuck it levels of not caring
When was the last time you got laid?
When was the last time you came home sober?
touche
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