Dear __, it'd be a lot easier to fuck if you ever responded. So I'm throwing in the white towel, since I no longer know what you want. Sincerely, ___
I think I just saw someone hide a body.
And, I saw Emily's panties. How? She doesn't sit like a lady.
he just found out his girl is having a boy. he's probably googling "Ed Hardy diapers" as we speak.
Ok I won't set anything on fire if you wear pants all night. This is a bet we're both destined to lose.
She is wearing lilly and pearls while drinking natty from a monogrammed coozie. If that isn't a sorosititue I don't know what is
Just got an Edible Arrangement my parents sent me for my birthday. Time to marinate some fruit in vodka.
Actions speak louder than pants.
Saw a guy in a chef outfit covered in mustard talking jiberish into his phone running across the skywalk.
I don't listen when you talk. I just try to find new creative ways to get you to send me naked pictures.
Just copped mushrooms from a dude in a business suit. U comin or what?
Something about being drunk at 1pm chasing seagulls on the beach while it's raining is very calming
Woke up with a text saying "when I get to see them titties again lil ma??" With 8 beads around my neck & an empty bottle of vodka in my arms.
Split a bottle of Johnny Walker and then decided to eat a shit ton of peanut butter. That was a rough bed to wake up in
I'm only gonna ask u this once. Y is there a picture of u only in superman underwear rubbin ur nipple on facebook????
Uh I can actually explain that one..
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