I took Valium worth by frank. I squabble
Li shadha you vin. It's phot out. I just ate a fried Oreo
we are all sexual creatures
yea maybe. but you're not. you're not getting any.
I dont know why I dont listen to you more often. He wont stop texting me. And his signature is "dancing with no panties on"
Wow, you know I need to stop drinking alone when I pour my drink into my hand and offer it to my dog,
I got drunk and smashed his tv with the keg and so he blames me for being evicted.
Why would he get rid of a girl with no gag reflex? I don't get it.
how come everytime i call mom shes doing tequila shots
and my loofah got caught on my nipple ring in the shower today. what an awful experience.
I feel like, for the first time today, we had a healthy yolo.
I just hit on a guy in a doughnut store... is that too suggestive?
apparently domino's not only has a live feed of pizzas coming out of the oven, but it also has a built in smooth jazz radio station. this pizza's getting really pornographic really fast.
How do we have all these hot friends who we never do body shots off of
The last thing I remember is talking to the firefighter next to me and he was giving me fruit.
my personal favorite... An "I'm sorry you broke your finger and cant play sports for awhile" blowjob!
the raccoons are back...
Randomize
