my brain is sober enough to have a conversation.. but my arms feel nice
someone just puked in the library. they put up caution tape. i totally underestimated finals week.
As long as you don't die I'm in full support of your drinking decisions
She tags her boyfriend in all of her pictures on her heart...
Sophomore year, I fucked on your desk chair. I'm sorry. I love you.
I'm trying to spell out I love you with a series of photos of my penis, but I just realized I can't do the Y of you
how do you feel about lunch break shots ?
he was wearing ninja turtle pajamas and he STILL got laid. who the fuck is this guy?!
I ate a pepperoni off of someone's floor last night. We need to talk.
Guess who just got out of a ticket because the cop liked her costume? THIS GIRL.
I just made a drink so ill shit. It's goona be great. Ill tell you about it when you get here. Get pumped. For my shit.
He said I showed up in just my underwear and a bunch of towels I stole from the party I was at.
I slept with a Brazillian Man, That's why I'm Watching The World Cup
I think pants incapable of making pants work
This girl was in the river screaming that someone didn't love her anymore...that's when the guy in a kilt claimed her...
Randomize
