I just had a girl text me from knoxville "come see me. we'll go for drinks and I can make you breakfast"
how do you like your eggs?
over tits
you were so high you spent the rest of the night smelling pepper to prove you can sneeze with your eyes open
is it sad that i think every plant i pass on the highway looks like a plant from farmville?
she said, "is it ok if I touch it?" that's when I knew I was in trouble... I knew she was a virgin but seriously..
Whatever. I'm saving myself for my wedding night or a night with enough patron.
He poured all of the vodka into the sweet tea and said that tomorrow it would be called 'surprise drunk.' then we had sex.
So ahh..."Multicultural Night" turned into "Fuck the Neighbor Night"
Bang-toberfest begins!!
Back. Waiting on Thong the shuttle bus driver. THONG
In case you're wondering what eggs stolen from an elementary school's chicken coop taste like, delicious. Delicious is what they taste like.
MIDGETS
????
I danced with a french guy who licked the sweat off my neck and poured a drink on me. Not gonna lie, that shit was refreshing
Also my face is like def lowkey made of silly putty
Lunch?
Massage?
Spanking with handcuffs?
She could hold her breath for a long time. Best underwater blowjob ever.
Randomize
