Fuck, operation next sex victim is on as soon as i get back. Do not sleep with that red head, nobody likes accidental ginger babies.
I just had the fat girl at the party come tell me I look sad and offer me a beer. I'm out.
you left him a drunk voicemail of you singing speechless by lady gaga balling your eyes out
Forever 21 now has a maternity line. Even more of an incentive for me to get pregnant at a young age.
According to google history I spent most of last night trying to buy an elephant.
Valium party in the driveway. Attendance: 1. Don't make me do this alone.
gpnpr hd vmdd nm the ggrl whm was mn my lar
I need you to use more vowels.
Did you Fuck minivan and her friend last night?
Well it was tamer than the 4th of july when I blew that guy I met walking home from the fireworks
I really just want to eat 20 mcnuggets and slap everyone with the box when I'm done.
either i huffed spraypaint or ate out that makeup artist. you decide.
yes, i'm a douce. but i'm a high quality douche.
The last time I saw you, you were giving the stripper a lap dance.
We will discuss everything tomorrow i presume. Including the sweaty naked tango.
You told me that you couldn't come over because you felt like you were gonna die and that houses eat you when you die, and my house couldn't eat you because your house would be jealous. That's when I knew to take the bowl away from you.
Randomize
