erin looks like she hung out with the sham wow guy last night. she's got the beat up hooker look goin' on
sometimes i wish i could just stick a turkey baster up there and suck out the blood
You put your red cup in a chain link fence and kept telling me you could use it as a telescope
weed brownie and a latte, breakfast of champions
She jerked me off while she drove us back from Denver going 70mph. It was both the scariest and most erotic moment of my life.
He came in looking for condoms, iced coffee, and a gas tank. I need to be where he's going.
You fed me milk from the beer bong because you thought it would "Sober you up" .
Dude just read our convo. Apparently I was talking to you while I was naked. She wasn't happy about it.
I will be your sherpa up the mountain of gayness
It's that moment where you find out the girl you've been dating for 6 months is a mob daughter. Post breakup.
Don't even start with me. You know damn well if you walked into a bathroom with two girls naked in the shower you would stay too. Regardless how drunk I was or whether or not you were my ride.
Dang. We need a girls trip ASAP. Preferably in a country who has even lower standards than us on a Friday night.
oh I'm washing fake blood out of my bra.
I NEED to hang out with you more
That's not the problem. The problem is I thought I was over him but he smells nice today.
that may or may not have been my penis.
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