if another girl says "im usually cleaner down there" I'm just going to shoot myself
so let's talk penis.
Is it a problem that I find my wife's 16 year old niece sexy?
My fight-or-flight response is really more fight-or-fuck
my mom just emptied my water bottle filled with vodka into the turtle tank.
throwing up turkey will be a nice break from throwing up ramen
Just to save you guys the surprise, somebody shit outside of our door.
He said last night that he'd never had such a great conversation and such a great handjob at the same time.
How was my weekend? I just blew my nose and a gram of coke fell out. My weekend was fantastic.
I told him I'd clean his cock if he ever sent my GF another text message. It was a horrific time for me to miss the l key on my iPhone.
The bald guy bought me a shot so I chugged it and then walked out to the middle of the dance floor and told an old woman that might be your moms twin to bend it over...We didn't end on a good note though. Dude she stepped on my vans.
I didn't want to see any of his nipples and now I've seen all three. Thanks.
I apparently got up in the middle of the night after fucking him and started looking for you under piles of his clothing
Don't forget to grab a pregnancy test and sloppy joe mix for tonight
you know my pussy doesn't know between good and evil
Randomize