Will you blow on my dice?
He went through and tagged himself on my crotch in all of my facebook pics
we got back to my place and he started talking about feelings. i politely told him to leave and that he managed to cock block himself.
Michael Bay diarrhea
so i am drinking whiskey and watching home alone 2 by myself. it turns out moving to a foreign country isn't all that different after all.
He was drunk at Denny's at 5 am saying how Dear John was the worst movie he has ever seen... eyes filled with tears.
Got a basket, 50 condoms, some candy, 100 plastic eggs & my bunny costume. Campus will feel my wrath in 2 weeks
Why are all the dvds taped to the fish tank. Really.
The last thing I remembered was laying in the bathtub fully clothed with the shower running while he was picking grilled cheese out of my hair. I couldn't figure out if i was more upset about being soaking wet or the fact that my grilled cheese was in my hair instead of my mouth.
Okay the common myth about putting tampons in you nostrils for a nose bleed is busted. It just starts coming out through your throat.
If graduating leads me to stop getting naked at inappropriate times in public places I'm going to be pissed
This hurricane was the perfect excuse to buy 2 pounds of animal crackers and a case of beer. It's on Sandy.
Church parking lot, park bench, front porch. I think she's more comfortable going down on me in public. May have found the one.
Mom is so high she had to turn off the ceiling fan because it was going too fast and it freaked her out.
sometime during the night he found me in the empty hotttub singing marvins room in only my bra.
Randomize
