I'm gonna have a badass scar
He's not gay. He just has bad gaydar and he gaydared himself and was wrong.
so i was pissing and the phone rang but i forgot i was pissing so i just ran to answer the phone. it was too late when i realized
it was 5AM and you were field goal kicking solo cups into the sink
He came inside me, looked me in the eye and said, "Happy Mother's Day"
Where is a good place to buy a New Year's outfit that acknowledges I don't have tits but screams I suck dick like a champ?
It was a karaoke bar combined with a liquor store and had a donkey pen in the back.
Keeping it classy as usual I see
I've decided he is effectively a mouth, hands and cock held together by bad ideas and compliments, and I'm OK with that.
and here comes the time of my day when I haw to convince a guy to drive my cape and my handle to my dorm.
you start one little fire by the lake and the police want to talk to you all night...
We fired a shoe out of a medieval cannon. I know not where we got either one.
I'm having a hard time eating my sandwich knowing how many different buttholes my hands were in last night.
Its a good night when you get to makeout with a cowboy
it was like reliving my childhood drunk at a bar.
I can get weed and taco bell delivered but frozen peas and a loaf of bread are just too scarce, what the hell is wrong with people?
Randomize
