i find it simply astounding you spelled drunken wrong but pterodactyl right
Pre-game strategy: play thunder by yourself in the shower. Surprisingly, success.
What did I eat last night that was bloody?
Im in search of the perfect penis, it would be unethical for me not to test run them.
To the person who left a cup of vomit in the bathroom: I commend you for your aim but you are dead to me- not an ideal birthday present.
I feel like I can hear facebook. What did we smoke?
you'll be horrified to know he's visiting next weekend
You two are a rollercoaster of sex and silence.
The door opens out but somehow she managed to kick it in..
I just had nipple jewelry returned to me in the law library.
I AM COVERED IN FAKE BLOOD AND REAL CUM. I AM AWESOME
Woman at starbucks on her computer with a garbage bag of popcorn and a bottle of lotion. Where are you coming from?!
When she sees your dick for the first time, tell her it glows blue when orcs are close
So I wore a corset to school. Fuck laundry.
Just took adderall with about half a bottle of red wine...i have stopped trying for this last exam
Seriously, he's as bad as Joffrey. I hope this ends like Game Of Thrones did.
Randomize
