he is training for a marathon but can't last more than five minutes on top. worst tuesday night ever
Somewhere in this world my second husband is in 9th grade.
just left the emergency room. condom extraction.
im gonna put my furry chinchilla vagina on her mother effing nose
he said it was like fucking a big sack of slut potatoes
your dad just showed up on the golfcart with a keg. i. love. our. neighborhood.
Ah, I knew it wouldn't be long before my boobs were introduced into the conversation.
I'm flagged. Drank strippers water. Flashed Dave tryin to get a job here. You order the shots. Green tea betch.
Im the macgyver of cooling down beers. The toilet tank was blocked so I couldn't use it.....
Hopefully this dress says "let me rent your house" and not "let me suck your dick for money"
Besides the one of you shaking your cock for 10sec that was one of the best snapchat's ever haha
Just got road head. In broad daylight. On the interstate. During rush hour. Pushing the envelope one public bj at a time.
I think it was a low point but honestly at this point I've had so many that my life is like a valley
Strip Simon Says: DO IT
I walked in the kitchen and heard her saying "We could have been so good together" as she caressed an egg with her cheek.
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