Ok let me ask a question, does aderall make women less apt to have sex?
Cause it just destroys penises
Was that inappropriate? I can't gauge these things anymore
I dont get chicks, its like they only care about themselves and money
sounds like you understand them just fine
so now that im really awake i see that my underwear are completely ripped down the side, my shorts are on backwards, i have to go get plan b....i call last night an epic fail or success depending on how catholic i am feeling
I just farted in the dogs face to show him who's boss
im covered in puffy paint and glitter i cant find kevin and im wearing shoes that dont belong to me....come get me please
It's been 5 months since I last wore a condom.
Not including when spray tanning
we took shots then she made me eat a dill pickle with cream cheese wrapped in a piece of turkey.
I don't care that you had sex on my bed. I care that you used my lollipop condom. I was saving that for a special occasion
It was a special occasion. Your best friend had crazy awesome sex on your bed. Thank you
I based a lot of our friendship on the fact that I thought you were crying from feeling so sad for me when I got crabs. I'm not sure if we can ever be as close now.
My friend wants your phone number so you can teach her how to take a beer bong. She saw you doing them last night and got jealous.
Just tell her to open her throat. I don't want to talk to anyone who is jealous of someone who woke up this morning with a cat in their shirt as a result of that glorious beer bonging skill.
Under no circumstances is tits McGee to make that kind of decision about my life!
Riding your boyfriend's dick for an hour then waitressing for 8 hours. Would not recommend.
If one more dude who finds out I'm a cop asks to see me in uniform I'm gonna become asexual
I feel like hooking up with you on my floor, sneaking out my window and jumping a fence is an effort that deserves a happy birthday.
How did people get blow jobs before text messaging?
Randomize
