Flowers- 20. Dinner-50. Drinks- 25. Hotel- 150. The look on his face when I tell him I'm on my period? Priceless.
i effing cant stand that stupid soul the new way to roll hamster commercial. everyone im with is laughing and now hate them all.
I just put lube in Matt's bellybutton. He looks unhappy.
Your dick is once again the conversation topic.
After what u did to that bathroom I think the $30 and the "sorry I'm a jackass" note was the thing to do.
Fine. Just this once and because its veterans day will I send you a picture of my tits. You're lucky I love this country.
After we fucked he shhhh'd me and said your welcome
He has in a pan: ten pieces of bacon, two cloves of garlic, an egg (not scrambled or hard boiled, just an egg) and frozen corn.
I should work for the FBI. Or planned parenthood.
That's quite a broad spectrum. What did you do?
Totally forgot Mike has only one ball. Is it sad I'm excited to see it? Or shall I say the lack of it?
shes making a cheerios necklace using dental floss 'just in case' she gets the munchies later
You know, I think I'm going to rock the shit out of this whole mid-twenties thing. Fuck babies and weddings -- I have vodka and young cock.
Apparently today is power bottom appreciation day
I slept on her porch...in her dads handcuffs
I had a threesome last night with my fiance' and our soon to be best man. Everyone is surprisingly chill about it this morning. Is this any indication of what the wedding night will be like?
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