it took everything i had not to yell out "your name means death in german!"
so then she threw up in his asshole
yep..that'll do it.
I mean he's a cool ass guy, but he's genuinely in love with a fat chick. I just can't take him seriously as a person.
he yelled at me for calling the fat girl fat. if I can't call out fat girls to my brother who do i have?
not sure how we got back down, broken rib says we didn't use stairs
I believe some people would call last night an orgy.
I THREW AWAY MY VIBRATOR BECAUSE IT INTIMIDATED HIM. WORST. DECISION. EVER
Having to explain to my dad why there are chicken wings to the pool filter, new low.
took some adderal to make my alochol withdrawl less shitty. now im just concentrating on how badly i need a drink
Nothing tops off the night like giving emotional and spiritual guidance to a 70 year old transvestite.
No, I'm just drunk and was excited cause a hot stranger bought me tacos.
In Punta Cana for my bachelor trip, hopefully tomorrow my passport is blacklisted
Was so high at one point last night that while showering I was worried that using too much hot water would slow down our Internet.
I told him you forbid me to sleep with him so he needs to accept that.
Kids I used to babysit are now fuckable members of my social media periphery.. Getting old sucks
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