I think i sorta joined a cult last night
ohhhh fuckk. chicks a dude.
So I just googled the ten commandments... Were fucked.
omg. he's a virgin strip club employee who's going to college on a ping pong scholarship. this is unreal.
His whole family saw that I had cum in my hair once they turned on the blacklight at the bowling alley. You should have seen his mother's face.
She's never allowed to turn 21 again
we made out at a charity event. really i was helping the fight against aids...
I'm more concerned about the fact that I can't feel my gums
He tells me he loves me and I say I just want him for sex, then he looks at me like I just said I hate puppies. What kind of guy is he?
Duuuuuuuude, I need you to sleep with my girlfriend so I can tell you both to move out
We're taking a shot every time Landon Donovan takes a shot. It's clever, sort of.
the second she challenged me to mario kart drinking game i knew i was in love
just reached the point where my breast implants paid from themselves in free drinks.
earned some solid air miles from the plan B I just bought. #silverlinings
From the bottom of my heart, thanks for never sending me unsolicited dick picks.
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