If I go to jail what happens to my debt?
You dont have to pay it.
I'm going to jail.
We played Rock, Paper, Scissors last night to see who was the least drunk to drive.
The Rock won.
my head looks like a cockatoo
mine looks like a lions mane...looks like the entire zoo is going to prom
i think i'm in class. and blacked out.
i failed horribly. studying for that final was as pointless as Vinnie is to Jersey Shore
dude i feel like at any given point 3/5 of that family is trying to fuck you
I'm going to listen to christmas music to trick my body into cooling off.
Rub those nipples and moan like a platypus.
Jesus, are you hammered?
Hammered for that juicy ass. I'll bring the straws.
I'm gonna have sex with my clothes on and I'll know everyone there so I'll be in my comfort zone
I found a half-finished mass text from my California weekend that said "things I want to rape: you, things, stuff, and le"
If I die, let him know that his penis was the last penis I saw. And I'm happy about that.
I wonder how many people I can tell that he has one nut before he finds out it's me spreading it.
I had to switch coats with someone at work because you can see the giant sex choke bruise on my neck. Being kinky is hard.
so he's a sleeptalker.
yeah??
"Mitochondria is the powerhouse of the cell" right in my ear. 2 am.
i stood outside in the bushes for thirty minutes. Do you know how many drunk guys pee in bushes at 2 am?
Randomize
