He ignores my calls like im some kind of stalker chick
Ive only called 5 times
Definitely locked eyes with the stripper who gave me a lapdance last night as she walked by me and into the Ann Taylor Loft in Times Square.
scratch lunch, i just found about 7 more dicks drawn on my back
dont get mad but guess who just got banned for life from dodger stadium
oh, it's pms. I almost cried yesterday bc my roommates didn't seem perky enough when I got home.
Taking shots out of pine wood derby trophiesssssss. best idea ever.
woke up with the dennys waiters MYSPACE link on the back of my receipt...yep one of those nights
All i remember was you crying naked on the bathroom floor because you were cold. I got you a blanket and you kept kicking it off and crying because you were still cold.
Some Russian dude just came up to us and I'm pretty sure he offered his girlfriend to have sex for 80 bucks. Whoever said porn movies were unrealistic.
I just held a marble with my kegel muscles for 5 min. You may call me COCKCLAMP 9000!!!!
how the hell were we supposed to out run the cops in a bus?
I was just tryna bring you beer girl. I should've known you'd be shirtless though
It was a "my chaser needed a chaser" kind of night
Dreamt I had my own personal vibrator rep, who made house calls. I earned an upgrade to an electric model, since I was burning through batteries. That's it. Time for a bf.
He just told me I was beautiful, whilst I peed into a cup. If this isn't love I don't know what is.
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