yea ive hooked up with like half those guys
and i've hooked up with the other half...when our powers combine, we are captain slutbag
It's 3am, i just got back from ht e bars and registered for classes larteeeeee. History of baseball at 8am? at least ill meet the only stragiht gusy at NYU!
I may also break bread with strippers. Because it is passover.
I don't make the first move. Ever. Unless were playing monopoly cause that's my shit
once you started introducing yourself as "running-bear" i knew you were beyond fucked up
And I'm ok with his balls touching my ass
It was like you were trying to communicate only you were using every letter of the alphabet but in no order and in a different language
drinking from the bathtub cause I'm too lazy to walk downstairs and too thirsty to care
Why am I the only one golf clapping for the vomiting girl on the train who just fell of her seat into her own vomit
We play this game where we catch up on what we missed over five years of not talking to eachother, then we have sex like nothing ever happened.
He wants to buy me a drink to apologize for sending me a pic of his dick. Welcome to my life.
I swear to go if the response she sends me something along the lines of who the fuck is Mark Hamill I might need to brake up with her.
Tackling and headbutting friends, running away and hiding from everyone, attempting to streak across campus, and then waking up with no sign of a hangover... happy 21 to me
He told me he loved me and I told him I shit myself
I’m never getting home or fucked or eating hot Taco Bell fml
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