i keep walking around campus wondering if anyone is as stoned as i am
you'd be alarmed at how much plan b i just found in mom's bathroom...
Ok I won't set anything on fire if you wear pants all night. This is a bet we're both destined to lose.
do you know how scary it is to wake up in a CATSCAN machine after a night of drinking?
i dont think duct tape can fix my g spot
lets call myth busters
You've been drinking wine and eating bacon all afternoon. HOW IS THAT DOING GOOD?!?!
I thought it was a myth but I have just reached the age of sitting on my balls. Not a fan.
Her idea of a bathing suit is... well.. she might not actually even know what one is. I've only ever seen her in a pool drunk and fully clothed or attempting to get into a pool but tripping over her pants which are at her ankles. Drunk.
If they weren't representing Obama and the White House, they definitely would've punched me in the face.
He came over to use the microwave, said he needed to heat up some urine.
Is it too early in the day to ask a nipple-related question?
Although can we find me a starter dick? I don't want security showing up again. That was awkward.
Is it bad I use my AA meeting to hookup with guys?
I walked in describing her boobs thinking I was talking to you only to hear dad say 'I remember when your moms were like that'. ALWAYS tell me when they get home early. Always
We damn well better have a snow day tomorrow. We just broke out the rum.
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