We should be called the Road Head Warriors
she thought the capital of kansas was topanga.
i got so high last night i cried hysterically for like 5 minutes because i dont have any superpowers
I spent my night drunkenly staring at a picture of John Stamos. How do you think I feel?
Just woke up bloody and clutching a rear view mirror I'm pretty sure is from my car. For those of you keeping score at home this is why I stopped drinking four loko.
Speaking is such a hard concept right now
Lets be real here, you loved it when I was on top. With and without the machete.
Got head last night. Had the 3D glasses on the whole time.
I'm supposed to be maturing, but no instead I'll be shitting my pants in Delaware for my 30th.
Hahahaha nah you won't shit your pants - but you will fully try mushrooms.
he started frosting cupcakes and licking the mini-spatula realllllly deliberately and i don't know if i'm more attracted to him or the cupcakes
I feel like I spent all day wearing underpants made entirely of poison ivy and sandpaper
Don't go to jail over some guy named Bunky
Last night I had a dream that I changed my last name to Vodka. what does that say about my life?
I'm really stressed out right now.
I think you're confusing "stressed" and "sober".
I ran into the marine at the grocery store. Its like my vag and his penis have this way of finding each other when I least want it.
Randomize
