I just pynch a tree in the face
everyone made a circle around them and startd chanting fight fight. they wernt fighting, they were dry humping
She’s leaving for college so I made her a gift basket with all the essentials. You know- Ramen, a 12 pack of PBR, some leftover Plan B pills and a laminated business card for a good lawyer. Damn I’m a good big sister.
My Mom bought me a vibrating toothbrush. Maybe this is her way of apologizing for throwing away my other thing that vibrated.
I feel violated. a guy just did an ultrasound on my balls. He made eye contact..
i'm using my hot pot to make jello shots in a muffin tin. i'm never ever graduating.
Well duh, alcohol and getting fucked up are the world's common languages.
Every part of me is in agreement...but mostly my vagina
I'm currently being signed up to be painted nude for a college art class. ah yes best high decision ever
I have a hunch Mama J got around.
Am I allowed to say that about my own mom?
this whole "benign brain tumor" is truly a blessing in disguise. I almost want to start bringing MRIs to the bar because sympathy pussy is flowing like the nile
well. can officially check "get caught having sex on the front porch by the neighbors" off the bucket list.
I woke up knowing I have nowhere to be today except parties and it was glorious and I am so happy
Not sure, she said after cussing out the dentist they called security. Make that the first person I know 86'ed by a dentist.
Being forward is somethimes a problems. Like in sexual deity Kong.
I think you’re losing coherence.
I am
Randomize
