I wish my penis had an off switch
I just saw a hot homeless man
How can she be afraid to give you a blowjob? It's not like your penis is going to turn on her and eat her.
You were running around the house with a purple crayon asking people to call you harold..
Why is there a living, breathing cow on your front porch?
You should have seen the look on the cashiers face when I was buying steel reserve with a suit on.
I almost got runover on the sidewalk by a car but wen it got closer it was a crackhead walking with the whole front of a car... bumper, lights and all... I love New York.
I'm at the house listening to vengaboys alone. Please come home.
I'll be honest. I knew what I was getting into. I'm not proud, but I'll be damned if I'm ashamed. 6 month draught is over. That's justice.
Whoevers house this is has only beer and cream cheese in the fridge. Thats the diet im gonna go on
Wors thing about having a cop dad: random drug testing
She tied her key to her bra the night before and couldn't get it off while trying to open the door this morning so she just took her bra off and let it tangle from the key while unlocking the door...the old Indian couple next door were shocked.
Now that weed is legalized There needs to be reusable bags for people to pick up with. All this plastic is so bad for the environment and a waste
AMERICA LOVES YOU. RIDE THAT DICK LIKE PAUL REVERE RODE HIS HORSE SO MANY YEARS AGO
I feel like you're the sexual bearcat I've always wanted to be.
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