Its Shannon Doherty lazy not Forest Whittaker lazy
I am dressing up to go buy weed. I need to get out more.
Day 5 without masturbation. Fat chicks are back on the table
Apparently I spent my 300 dollar tax return by ordering ramen on amazon last night. Please tell me this will somehow pay off in the long run.
She's still too new to the group to be comfortable with us just sitting down as a group and watching porn on the tv.
I must have drunkenly masturbated really loud last night, cause my roommate and his wife wont look at me
I'm sitting at work trying to dust glitter off my pants. I can't hang out with her anymore.
My radar detector detects ice cream trucks. I think it was made for stoners
Okay, I just got to our real hotel and the YMCA may have been a better choice. A man w/ no shirt on
blue gatorade loses no color upon regurgitation
hitting rock bottom is getting taziki in your hair & simply putting it in a bun instead of actually dealing with it, just like your problems
You kept ranting how Captain Planet is getting shortchanged in the superhero department. Other than that you kept it together
I need a "no soliciting" sign for your dick
Nothing says "I'm sorry for shitting in your bed" like an Olive Garden gift card
I'm legitimately the first person in the United States to successfully shave their balls with a Razer Blade of a sword and fully admitt it. I'm honestly smoother then a 10 year old.
Randomize