He was in me and said I can't believe this happened because of facebook. MOOD KILLER.
Just took a final in the room where I lost my virginity. I think it was god luck.
Just saw a motorized bathtub. I think this college thing is gonna work out.
He picked me up for our 1st date and saw my roommate crying on the floor Fabreesing her vagina...
Confidence margaritas not a good idea. Just said foreskin in my presentation instead of foresight.
this lesbian fantasy crush is getting WAY out of hand. just spent an entire meeting staring at her long fingers thinking, "oh those could be fun"
am i so blindsided by his great personality that i'm hooking up with an ugly guy?
i thought you knew
I'm cheerleading for traffic. people are staring. Why am i the only high person on the way to class?
Successfully masturbated while balancing on an exercise ball. my greatest accomplishment?
Probably
Sex last night was mind blowing. your wife is one lucky lady.
I renamed his cat Jeff last night. Well I spray painted it on him.
How do you feel? I threw up in a towel. Also, a lot of other things.
I didn't know I was invited to an orgy.
I can empathize with sociopaths, serial killers, demons, gods, and monsters....straight white males are literally the only barrier to my 100% empathy rate. I don't get it.
only i would get cock blocked by a cop
Randomize
