me and ur bf were arguing about whether coke was vegan. i really hope it's vegan
is it gross that my labia hangs so much that guys can't find my clit?
I just met his wife...she told me they have been having marriage problems and are spending his paychecks on marriage counseling...then she cried on my shoulder...NOW i feel like a bitch.
She won't let me open the car door while we are on the highway so I can throw up outside. She deserves to have her car thrown up in.
I ate a pepperoni off of someone's floor last night. We need to talk.
now that I know that you did coke with your mom I can't look at her the same
Smoked before work and just remembered i left pringles in my desk last time i was high. SCORE
You screamed at oncoming traffic , "five dollars to punch this guy in taint!".
2:23 am. Im just at McDonalds, in my pajamas, at 2 am, paying in nickles, cuz thats how i roll.
2:26 am. Im just being thrown out of McDonalds, in my pajamas, at 2 am, without my nickles, cuz thats how i roll.
His roommates came in the room and were throwing snowballs at us while we were hooking up.
Seriously. Are we going out tonight? If we're not, I'm going to put on sweatpants and do drugs.
Ahha guy saw me buying beer, went "hmmmmm" and nodded his head approvingly. No words exchanged, but he has made his way to my heart haha
Get the fuck in, we're going to Taco Bell.
I feel like i'm being yelled at when you type in all caps.Did you just have bad sex?
I'm a delicate orchid of a man.
Blossoming into a fierce dragon.
Randomize
