nothing tight i'm going to stuff myself with food and alchy
my last 3 google searches were anal itchy vagina and ice cubes
After you puked you called ur mom and told her you fucked on her bed, then u said "Have a good night mommy!" hung up and passed out on my couch
that would explain 17missed calls and 3 very angry voicemails from her
So thanks to the xanax and vodka memory erasering combo i wake up only to reopen a picture of some very familiar balls
I had to go to the front counter of the restaurant and ask for the key because I was "pretty sure my friend is passed out in the bathroom right now"
the bartender cut u off when u asked him for his screename so u could IM him later
I do not want to do anything. The words more tequila need to be erased from my vocabulary
all I know is I'm really rwfly really really stoned and a bunch of Korean people are yelling at me
He kept dropping hints about giving me crabs. Like he called my pubes a nest and said he "hoped there weren't any eggs in there."
Don't think anyone else in the building has a lunchbox full of yay
Hey there's a sandwich in there too!
Lets watch game of thrones and have sex every time someone is naked. It'll be like a drinking game but better.
To get him to come she paid for his uber and promised that someone in the house would give him head. it worked
After passing out at the kitchen table, you woke up in my parents bed in between them. With no pants on.
so i was thinking... those 6 am shots weren't really needed.
Sitting on my couch watching TV in my underwear drinking a bottle of wine.... and you want to interrupt me to come pick you up. No I will not do it.
Randomize
