i don't like sucking hair
playing new game: drink everytime u see someone at the beach with a tramp stamp, double if u guess it before u see it, triple for male tramp stamps
warning: blackouts possible when playing in ocean city or anywhere in new jersey
My lunch today consisted of going on the brewery tour with my boss. Free pretzels and two free beers.
I hate you.
To be fair, the beers are only 8 ounces each. So maybe you just kinda dislike me.
and before you know it i was laying next to him at 2 in the morning with penis and sadness on my breath.
"Worlds Wildest Videos" should be called "Crazy White People"
I remember spending $50 at Ozzie's on Friday...my Visa remembers $120.
Just saw Youth in Revolt. There are only so many times Michael Cera can lose his virginity.
Is it weird that out of everything, Im most worried about chipping a tooth on his prince albert?
He stole the megaphone off an ATM then we drove around so he could tell people not to jaywalk.
The great thing about vietnam is that if I'm drunk during the day people just think I'm being white
currently pooping in a public restroom while drinking free beer. there has never been a finer line between awesome and depressing.
Well i think matt shit his pants so ill mark that as a W
You were crying in a drunken stupor for an hour because "the new daft punk album didn't blow your tits off"
I just found a half a joint in my bed. . .don't know if this qualifies as a proud moment or a cry for help
after we fucked i left the room and when i came back he was patting his dick whispering "prouda you lil guy...prouda you"
Randomize
