just tell him i said nine months
she's got a whisker from her dead cat taped to the wall. I'm pretty sure that about sums it up...
I just ate a cashew that looked EXACTLY like your dick.
just left a line of flour and citric acid on the dresser for my roommate to find. teach that bastard to steal my coke!
there's just a random girl here singing about how much she loves fiber
I was told to ask you about memoirs of a geisha.
the kid throwing up and laying face down on the deck just asked ME if I'M okay...
So puking trix and chicken wings is horrible but atleast we got free drinks for taking the trash out at the bar we are really movin up in the world
I feel like somebody ate me, then shit me into my bed.
you took a potato out of your pocket and just started eating it raw. don't know where the potato came from though
21st birthday = success
if you didn' use the plastic sword on the cop. maybe this wouldn't have happened.
there was 'chicken suit porn' in my search history.......also 'scuba diving porn'
He then used a box cutter I keep in my car to open the plan b. Who says chivalry is dead?
I'm not going to drink anymore, and on that note I'm not going to drink any less either, so I'll see you there. . .
its as if im in a choose your own adventure book. except im not the reader and someone else is choosing my fate...one awesome decision at a time.
Randomize