Hey, do you have a beer bong you could drop off at my little brother's place?
Is it bad that my booty call's snoring was more interesting than the sex we had last night?
He wanted me to blow him while he was playing guitar hero. there will not be a second date
Life after highschool has not been kind to her. She looked fatter than Luke Wilson's face in those AT&T commercials.
Shaving your vagina at 8 months pregnant is not an easy chore.
I kinda wish he had even a slight idea of the sex I'm planning for his departure. I'm literally studying for it.
shes on the ground doing bicycle kicks screaming "is my ass good enough for you now satan" send help
You know it's been awhile when the imagery of fucking AT A DENNY'S gets me really turned on.
A blind man just put his face in my cleavage. I'm also crying.
I went with plan f. get drunk and start a fire in my yard
My apartment is also really close to an alcohol rehab in case I get out of hand
I just spent 12 consecutive hours in the same outfit and none of it was pajamas. If that's not personal growth, I don't know what is.
I wanna say I regret bonging a beer while having sex with Mike, but it helped me get thru it.
I have a few Facebook friends I only keep around for quality control purposes on Tinder
Here's the thing. Kinda drunk. Eating leftover soup. In bed. Watching Disney channel.
Randomize
