he's chasing his jose cuervo with hot tub water
Id settle for living inside the pirates of the carribean ride.
He had the smallest penis i'd ever seen. I can see why he drinks his life away.
Just got Netflix. Dexter Marathon. Still in my PJ's. Only eaten cookie dough and drinking a 40. I have never reeked so strongly of lonely .
Its funny how you denied every part of the text except " you hate fat ppl"
Oh nbd. She just had sex with a divorcee. On a charter bus. At 10 a.m. On a Thursday.
he fucked me to the beat of the construction going on outside my house. i will never look at jackhammers the same ever again.
You christened everyone with a powdered doughnut and then tried to absorb vodka with your nipple.
Cute boy and deffffff wearing a HS shirt. I am getting too old to be inaccurate.
CSI Miami is on and the guy is trying to save this woman who got shot. By stripping off his shirt & belt. THE WOMAN NEEDS YOUR PANTS OFF TOO
Despite popular belief cocaine is not a good pre-workout
Sometimes, being an adult means buying a bottle of whiskey after work and live tweeting the commercial breaks on food network.
My mom has tinder, she is 45 and has her age setting at 18-29. And she still gets more matches than me
She's like a cask of Amontillado. Very tempting if I was drunk, but sober, I know I'll get fucked over in the end.
dont know what thebfuxk is in rhat shit, but dont lemme have antmore
Randomize
