i just heard my neighbor say from outside my window "i don't give a shit what he does, what the hell am i gonna do with my son's penis?"
wasted. watching meteors, awesome idea i ever had, see 2 for every 1 with ma double vision
There's a difference between southern and inbred. She just doesn't know that yet.
No but the chipped one is crooked now. Clearly I didn't use my hands to break my fall. I used my face
Like, he's a nice guy. But he's better at fingering than he is at speaking.
It was almost as bad as the time I peed on the floor of the Pentagon's subway station.
I guess crabs is what I get for sleeping with my ex.
That girl definitely just ate a hot dog and stared straight in to my eyes.
Sometimes I just want to kiss you without you pulling ur cock out and waving it at me
Then while I was crying on his shoulder, he got a boner. Soo. I kinda just hopped on.
I don't know what's wrong with me. The guy from bar rescue is making me horny
I only wore my thong with cheeseburgers on it because I thought we'd have sex. So I basically wasted my best thong for nothing.
I walked over and you were apologizing to him because you're lady gaga and he's not. The best part was that he forgave you.
I'm sorry I get my lefts and rights confused because I'm dyslexic. But, it took you at least 15 minutes to figure out it wasn't your room OR YOUR HUSBAND.
Our son just found our secret Sex Dungeon that is no longer hidden in our basement. He brought his Xbox and the TV down there he is currently sitting in the sex swing playing video games. What do I do?
Randomize
