just a forewarning-if you come home and hang out with your stupid girlfriend the entire time that you are here/fail to get wasted with us i will wish either death upon you or that you truly do turn gay when you return to the navy.
Instead of a promise ring i got my clit peirced, its a promise that ill always give you ass! =]
Getting blown during the Cavs game doesn't make it any less depressing.
I need you to send me a picture of your dick. I want to forward it to that girl and you and i both know you're more impressively sized
I could see myself reflected in his wedding band as i was going down on him.
Just picked them up. It took 6 holes and a handle of rum to evolve from golf to a demolition derby.
There's an entire pit crew of cart boys surveying the golf cart destruction.
I don't know how I got here... but I think I'm in a Christian Impact meeting... I'm trying to act as straight as possible. They can sense gay.
Priorities: waking up on your doorstep desperately clutching half a meatball marinara but with no sign of your keys, purse or housemate. Where are you?!
So maybe putting the blacklight above the futon wasn't the best idea...
i could have been the DD. this is ridiculous. i'm the most sober and getting the least ass.
We should totally stay in at new years, have sex and try to time orgasm to the countdown
Why the HOLY HELL is my dog on my roof??? Sam?? Why is the dog wearing my pants
You are cordially invited to the annual finals week stress relief drinking binge at our manor this evening
So you're not opposed to us ever having sex again? Because it just seems like such a waste to let a penis like yours go.
It was all going good until I realized she was wearing underwear with a butt flap. Mission aborted.
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