your horoscope this morning...very interesting...good luck today
bobby jindal makes me wanna cover my ears. you make me wanna smile.
Guess who just hooked up with the cop that fingerprinted her?
This is to remind you the pizza is in the dishwasher birthday boy eat it before it goes on
You have to come over we all bought drinking hats. Mine has a turtle on it. Side note: somehow someone got their hands on 50 candied apples and we need to eat them...
You were fucking on a porch at a party, not much privacy should be expected
Sorry for feeding you peanuts last night while you were sleeping, you looked hungry.
Aww you are cute. With your penis. And failures.
Stripper with the black hair and lip rings is still asleep. Found out she wasn't lying when she said she was a squirter, it was like splash mountain.
that is terrible, if I can't drink Gatorade when I'm hungover I don't wanna live in this world. that's like denying wild rams to run free in the wild and frolic
my goal for the rest of college is to escape STD free. fuck getting a job. this is more important.
We were getting breakfast he shit himself in the middle of ihop. Mid bite he just yells out o fuck.
Since when is my clitoris pierced?
Wanna go on a picnic?
... by picnic I mean wanna sit on a blanket and drink with me?
Nothing is more confusing than dreaming about being chased by jets, then waking up with an erection.
Randomize
