Have fun with your cool freestyling girlfriend!
She can rap better than you any day
it took everything i had not to yell out "your name means death in german!"
Swear. I think after passing out in a community college parking lot I can safely nominate myself for the piece of shit of the year award
they're making a venn diagram comparing gummi bears against gummi worms...is this what i have to sit thru to get free weed????
You chanted SOFA PIZZA all night then we woke up to find about ten slices under the cushions where you were sleeping....
you called your neighbor "slutsauce" then passed out on the stairway. not even sure why, but props to you.
She made me sing happy birthday to myself at the urinal.
all i could think about while he was eating me out was how pretty his eyelashes were
All I know is....there's beer in my camera. How do I know? Because I can pick up my camera,shake it and HEAR, the beer in it
Sorry I don't make house calls. You wanna get blown you come over here. It's like rock paper scissors but vagina ALWAYS beats penis
More importantly this is sex weather and i am striking out
Santa tracker drinking game, you in or what?
Her handjob consisted of slapping me in the balls. I am never hooking up with her ever again ever.
We were literally making dick jokes with his dick out
That’s the level of friends with benefits I aspire to achieve
If I could eat my chicken parm naked, it would be the closest I could ever be to God.
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