she went to pee and i could hear her singing "Drip Drip Drop LIttle April Showers" from Bambi through the door.
He told me he had an exgf. and didnt follow up with"and now i like guys."
I am paying my roommate as much of the electric bill in pennies as possible because I hate her.
dont touch anything in my room. If its phallus shaped, i can almost guarantee its been in my vagina.
our new exchange student wants to hear all about America's greatest politician, "Oprah." it's gonna be a long fucking day
I woke up pulling sunflower seeds out of my vagina. That kind of night.
would it be mean if I put better with the lights off on my sex playlist just for my hook up with him?
I can't believe I ever hated her sister or friends. They got her some sexy sexy ass lingerie for the honeymoon. I think I love them bitches
She still didn't believe that he would cheat on her so I finally said "how else would I know that his batman mask is still in the back of his car from halloween?" I think she accepted it
i sent my dealer a picture of the money i would pay him. i also told him i would pay him in cheez-its if he would prefer that.
It's no shave November. This is our time.
The thing about being single is like Sunday morning sex is nice but so is Sunday morning eating Nutella from the jar in your underwear
all i want in life is a shot and a cock is that too much to ask
So what other shows do you masturbate to? Or is it just friends
I have drunkenly angered a family of raccoons. Please send help immediately.
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