on the way home the dog started throwing up her bone in the car..so naturally i started to puke too
fter the third song from an iPod commercial played I realized how much that frat sucked.
I just woke up and checked my e-mail, and apparently while drunk I bought a blowtorch. Thought you'd want to know.
He was a level 5 clinger dude i dont need to be told how ridiculously awesome i am all the time, if so id just hang out with my mom
I puked for half an hour, but I went and danced afterwards, and that made me feel better.
You are so irish.
I feel that my census will not be the first census submitted soaked in beer
is it STILL halloween? when did this turn into a week long holiday
So when I eventually, if ever, find someone I'd like to marry, do you think having people fly to africa for a lion king themed wedding is too much?
He's doing his thing where I don't know if he's alive until three in the afternoon so idk
I threw a dessert topping at a baby tonight so drink up! If you stay sober tonight I will be very disappointed in you.
She asked me to dress as captain planet for halloween and told me she was gonna suck the pollution out of my dick.
It's election day and I was just tied up with an American flag scarf
Driving, getting head and talking to your boss on the phone is not a good combination. I nearly died
We made out in front of everyone INCLUDING his girlfriend. And no one saw. THAT DRUNK!
Just made a secret hand shake with my sisters cat. Boredom at its finest.
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