I only kidnapped one of them. chill
so they made cookies with their faces printed on them...I ate jaime...she tasted like poop
I just puked in a penis shaped cake pan. I've hit an all new low for a Tuesday.
Kinda felt bad though cuz she whimpered and shuttered a lot, i felt like i was kicking a puppy, only the puppy liked it and came a bunch
yesterday, he said he didn't trust me around his daughter because "if she was wrapped in rolling paper u'd smoke her." yup.
I haven't shaved in at least a week, he said "obviously neither one of us was prepared for this"
the general consensus of people in the room is that i should have another bottle of wine.
"people in the room" being me.
You should never talk to him again. Unless its you knocking on the door and punching his dick.
Think I pulled my pelvic muscle.
I think I pulled my ashamed of myself muscle.
And i have once again masturbated to an amazing soundtrack. what a time to be alive
Well if your hearts not big enough, your penis certainly is. Just have a threesome
Obviously last night's theme was "Let's Make Bad Life Choices"
I found a hair colour I want in a porn.
I just walked in on her masturbating to a social anxiety video...
You mom sent me some article linking anal sex, damaged prostates and sterility. Does she still think your gonna go straight and have kids one day?
Randomize
