i learned of a new sex move called the pterodactyl. 3 guys stand in a row. 1 girl blows the one in the middle while jerking off the other two. kids these days!
Yaeh! Back in our day we had to wait our turn for some party whore to blow us!
well there you go. the average partycunt evolved into megapartycunt just like scientists predicted.
I need to take "lollipop" off of every single one of my playlists cause it makes me wanna suck dick.
And he showed us your test. You wrote what is this shit and scribbled on it? Nice 3%..
I just found three unopened cans of PBR behind our futon that I think I was saving for winter.
Just don't have "pin the tail on the straight edge" as a party game... Please and thanks...
Lemme guess, I was the one completely shit faced making out with the 50 year old...
LOL, wrong number bro. Good luck trying to figure out what happened though..
Last thing I remember was wondering why there was a mirror on the wall behind the urinal and then realizing I was pissing in the sink.
I woke up this morning in the house, I didn't realize it was physically possible to duct tape a person to the wall...
So she just had an emotional breakdown over a birthday card with a peacock on it. Yeah. She's pretty drunk, but we made it home safely.
Seriously. All I want right now is a 40 with a nipple on it, and a nap
It was like being run over by an orgasm freight train.
Banging to Billy Joel pandora is like russian roulette. But I made him cum to Let It Be so I we both walked away victors
My phone has started autocorrecting "monogamy" to "monogamish"
a reward? ill think of something
if its not drugs or food I swear to god ill throw a fit
eveytime i go to his house my cute clothes always get taken off what's the point of even wearing them there?
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