no, he came in my armpit
Theres two guys using a blow up doll to hold their beers while they float around the pool
Im on my way, tell them to get ready for a high-five
Well, I can't relate. I have no idea what it feels like to withhold sex. Or have self-control in general.
I love watching the kids I sold drugs to score touchdowns
Thanksgiving break drinking is a marathon, not a sprint, and i need to be well rested
You were throwing up and said, "Whipe my face, I must look presentable at all times."
Dude, he threw a pool chair off of an 8 story building. It was a successful night I'd say.
Can you please come and collect your boss off of my kitchen floor.
I just passed a kid trying to leave on a lawn mower
You wanna get laid? Be a female for once and stop bending nails to impress guys.
We didn't mean to put a petting zoo in the elevator.
I'm abstinent now
Oh, is this one of the times when you're serious?
She's so nice... She deserves all the dicks.
He lives 20 minutes away driving distance and decided to walk. I talked to him today and he took a nap along the way... In a cemetery.
I wish I had a tail.
Why?
...why not?
Randomize
