There is now a Twilight themed dildo. What do YOU want for christmas??
Found you in the bushes with fireworks, a teacup and no shoes. Decided it was a bad time to wake you.
I just got a flashback from Saturday night of you helping me wash my feet in the bar's bathroom.
I mean its cheating, but i figure i've made out wiht married chicks before so its like a nicotine patch, quitting by doing less and less each day
Normal vaginal pH: 3.8 to 4.5. Of course it tastes like a 9-volt. I could run a potato clock on that thing.
i sent you a picture of beads you send me a picture of boobs how hard is this to understand
how are you shocked you fucked her? sure shes hot, but she also washed your beerpong balls in her mouth..... you should probably get tested.
You're not stopping till I see you on the ground trying to hold on to shit
Do you think wearing a shirt that says I like penis is too much for tonight?
One does not fall in love, one falls flat on the their face after leaving a bar
Just had my very first high conversation with mom
And you survived it! I'd say that earns you a "Blaze It Like a Real Adult" from the Grown-up Girl Scouts
She said "I feel like I haven't reached my full potential" and I couldn't figure if she meant in life or with the weed..
Wow you are like a taller more attractive sex Yoda.
Let's just say when I woke up I was still drunk. My hangover hit me around noon so I chilled w my dad and took a bath and shower at the same time. You just can't do that at college
Don't know where this pizza came from but i got breakfast in bed
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