..Thats also how I think I got the lyrics from MIAs Paper Planes Sharpeed on my ass? Maybe.
And then he said "I can't get blown while Gordon Bombay and Mr. Holland stare at me from the TV"
u ever jackoff with ur legs spread and pretend ur fuckin urself as a girl and get mad u'll never know what that feels like. Or to fly like a bird?
Did u absorb a fraternal twin in the womb?
just found preset five on the shower head...pretty sure my pussy just had a panic attack
Drinking bud light and eating rice cakes...this is the closest to getting in shape for spring break as its going to get.
I cant wait for your democrat phase to be over.
how many days can you live off of Vicodin and frosty?? im going on 4 days......
If we don't get kicked out of this hotel tonight for fucking too loud we're breaking up
He kept saying 'your mouth is Amazing' even after I was on his dick.
Law school is ruining my masturbation schedule.
I'm still not completely convinced I'm not pregnant. I just dipped beef jerky in cream cheese frosting.
After she lost the bet I made her get on one knee so she could "Te-blow me"
So I've been thinking about this, and I've decided my bed is magic. Every time I change the sheets, a new boy is in my bed. I own the Sheets of Dreams-if I change them, they will come.
you bet i'm gonna rock his four-foot-two world.
Found someone cuddling with my Uggs this morning. Guess the hundred pillows laying next to him weren't good enough.
Randomize