apparently i peed in my fridge last night because my vegetable drawer was filled with it.
There was something that i liked about you, but you spent it
I sharted during my first quiz and I couldn't leave, I went ahead and took the rest of the day off.
So im at the gym and some guy has a tattoo of a hand doing the shocker... The douche bag bar has been raised yet again.
he ate 15 dinner rolls and nothing else. then took a shit in the bathroom came out and blamed it on his dad. i wish i was 8.
I saw him coke blaxckout on the subway at 9 this morning yelling at people callig himself the gatekeeper.
Totally just projectile vomited while ridind a bicycle.
I'm gonna make a therapist very happy and very wealthy this semester.
being pregnant is like rehab
Listen. I don't care if its "nontoxic" im not putting it in my fucking vagina.
In other news, I apparently ate my retainers while rolling last night.
we need to find a way to be drinking champagne 24/7
My sexual preferences tend to require a degree in psychology to understand
Looks like taco salad for lunch. I may have died and gone to be better circle in hell than I thought.
Look, I know why you're asking me, but just because I'm gay does not make me a wiki on butt sex. Ask a doctor or you know, the internet like everyone else.
Randomize
