you really are a gigantic fucking slut.
sidenote: just remembered sarcasm does not translate through text
it's probably a bad thing that i wasn't even offended, huh?
woke up in a shopping cart using a keystone box as a blanket. how was your night?
You don't understand, alcohol has become a thing of survival for me and without it I can't function as a normal human being
There are babies in the room i shouldnt be high with babies in the room.
I almost masterbated to the avatar love scene ha it was so hot
after watching ten minutes of "the decision," I conclude that King Lebron has more influence on America than Barak Obama. I love our countries values.
Mass texted booty calls to all the guys I've hooked up with this year to commemorate the end of the semester.
its so hard to text. the buttons are tickling my fingers
Dude. I only took a 20 out the ATM last night. How do I have 83 ones?
You stole from the strippers again. I wish I was ninja like you
Based on the time of Sean's "I'm on your street" phone call last night, we had sex for an hour and a half. Man, time flies when you're getting boned to an orgasmic death.
Huh interesting. Well thats too bad. Did he catch on?
I doubt it. After sex he sat there naked until the episode of fresh prince (which had JUST started) was over.
You HAVE to stop telling me about the shit you do drunk. I can't be both your brother AND your gay friend.
I felt kinda awkward walking into his house in nothing but lingerie and my dead grandmas overcoat
The hospital waiting room is starting to become a very familiar place to me.
JUST BECAUSE I ANSWER THE DOOR NAKED CARRYING A BOTTLE OF RUM DOESN'T MEAN YOU CAN STARE NEIGHBORS.
Randomize
