yeah well you didnt even puke from the alcohol. we cut you off and went to huck finn's and told you that the "irish cream" coffee creamers had baileys in it, so you shot down like eight of them and puked all over the floor. it was great. we cheered you on and everything
Herpes is a lot like Arnold Schwartzenneger. Because it always comes back. Also, because it is usually in some way in control of California.
Never get a handjob from a girl who gives deep tissue massages.
you are not perverted enough for this relationship to work out.
I've just never had a dinner guest strut in, go directly to my bathroom, vomit.. then come out demanding whiskey and food.
How interesting! I'm adding this to my list of things to discuss with you between fucks.
We got a kitchen table so we would eat together more. So far we've played drunken monopoly and had sex on it.
we told the drug dealer that our car was dead and we needed a jump so he would bring the drugs to us...
Oh god now he thinks I'm into him because I've been staring at him trying to figure out what animal he looked like
I found pix on her phone of me passed out and her sticking things up my ass. Its over.
Just found the measuring tape in my bathroom. How drunk could I have possibly been on Saturday?!
I shouldn't have that kind of responsibility when the prospect of being high is readily available. All I could do was hula hoop and smoke cigarettes last night. My remembrance of anything important was out the window.
i feel like ive seen the light, but not in the nasty christian way. thats gross. say no to jesus, kids
You left your hot dogs in my dresser again
You can help me! We'll make an occasion of it. Have some rum, make some smores, condemn the email system to the pits of hell...
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