R you on birth control?
No, why?
...no reason
You American Chicks are so confusing....1 day you are on my nuts next day you be trippin
Dude its not just American chicks...a small penis is the same in every language
I just realized I had sex more when i looked like a fat elton john. Fuck my life.
He's been grabbing my ass as a greeting since 2004, sex was overdue
the australian girl literally just drank an entire pitcher of beer in about twenty seconds. i want to go to there.
Sometimes I wonder if my parents know that I mean horny when I say lonely.
That's the only definition of lonely that I know.
Hes a nice guy and all but I'm only interested in his drunken alter ego.
If i ever die cab you make sure bag pipes are at my funeral they are awsome
Two women at the Safeway just got out of their separate cars and kissed. One was driving an outback, the other a CRV. It was like a Honda and Subaru had a lesbian joint venture and filmed the commercial in front of me.
just reached the point where my breast implants paid from themselves in free drinks.
Hahahahahha. You saved a homeless man. You're actually the mother Teresa of skanks.
you bleached my bangs. i have an interview later today and you assholes bleached my bangs.
Considering we almost incited a riot on behalf of LGBT rights I have to say that was the best time for our moral compass to turn south.
I'm not sure if 14 year old me would be disappointed or proud that I fucked him behind her middle school??
Oh. My. God. It is NOT okay to drink Johnny Walker when there is no Jameson. My skull is eating my brain.
Randomize
