i had the deer in headlights look when she walked in and i was digging in her hamper
You only like me because I'm a challenge
You already blew me
Booyah. Found 8000 pesos in my closet and that's apparently 608 US dollars
He's drinking red wine in a margarita glass. He couldn't be more perfect for me.
That combination of brocholi bacon eggs cheese ketchup and pasta would have been a revaltion had you not thrown up on the stove and put out the pilot light
Not gonna lie i was comfortable between the allsups air conditioners while you were talking to the cop.
Also, I imagined that his bacne was bubblewrap and that made it much more tolerable
If I had to summarise my weekend I would do so using the words "horrifying romanian moonshine"
I'm hoping they send me home from work drunk.
i did nothiing wrong other than not tell that kid his whole back was covered in puke
That kid i sell weed to just had his mom give him a ride over here she waited in the car while he bought a bag
She gave me what I will now dub a "hurricane sandy". Loud, wet and sloppy BJ that made me want to stay home and complain about shit on the Internet
him and the cab driver we buy e from got into a fist fight, about which show is better, futurama or family guy.
I had a dream that my roommate walked in on me masturbating and I hissed "I'm not stopping this orgasm train for the likes of you" and just kept going
Guy just walked into the bathroom with only socks on and took a 5second shit. It is taking me longer to type this than for him to shit, wash hands, and leave the bathroom. WTF? Still wondering why he only had socks on.
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