He looks like a mix between a retired piano teacher and a cat that just swallowed a sock.
I dont know why I dont listen to you more often. He wont stop texting me. And his signature is "dancing with no panties on"
She does have a great personality.
Yeah, in her vagina.
At least with the last gf I made it clear that I wanted to breakup when I pissed on her floor @ 3am as her roommate watched in contempt
My dora the explorer band aid does not cover up the shame i feel right now
tell me why there is a bowl of oatmeal from starbucks in my purse
i'm sad. The beetle crawled away. I was only trying to get him stoned.
I have no idea. But that is beside the point bc in vegas I'm a pro vball player from Ireland and a veterinarian on the weekends
Now I know he's not trying to fuck me. He took me to lunch at White Castle.
I just want school to he over so we can build a big tent, do drugs inside it, and watch cartoons until the sun comes up.
That's all I've ever wanted.
So I got my junk pierced since we've fucked. You should get in on this.
he fucked me wearing a cowboy hat and made grits after
We call him Texas for a reason.
GETTING HORNY AT RANDOM IS REALLY FUCKING INCONSIDERATE.
Woke up with two different pairs of pants in the pockets of a jacket.None of the above are mine.
They found me wandering around campus screaming body shots over and over again wrapped in a curtain
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