Tell me exactly where it said it wasn't a unisex bathroom.
i get turned down more than a collar. where are the desperate bitches i need to crawl to them
That bar we were at last night smelled like cougars. Virginia Slims, Aqua Net and Summer's Eve.
seriously i just wanna be friends
pass
I just woke up with streamers wrapped around me. Glitter in my hair. My fish are swimming in empty bottles of Barcardi. Helpppp
He told me his penis would be a "Sad Panda" if I didn't give it a ride through the jungle.
well we could tame deer to let us ride on them. does that work?
He just told an 8 year old to go fuck himself so we probably won't be in the butterfly exhibit much longer.
There's always a certain something about a day that begins with your panties in your purse.
I need to go back to work. I've had so much sex since the shutdown started. last night we tried and a little flag came out saying "nothing is left in here try a week later"
It's called hot rabbit the party if he asks the password is "careful" don't ask
Getting on a bus with a beer pong table. I am proof we can make this campus fun.
I really prefer to do my walks of shame in the summer
I discovered moonshine and fell in love.
There is a huge naked guy in the kitchen with the boner of a lifetime and what I believe is an assault rifle casually resting on his shoulder.
Randomize
