Also I am about to cut a ringtone from "Sex Machine" so James Brown can tell me to "get up, get on up" in the morning
I once woke up to the scream from 'get up offa that thing' and smacked my head on my desk
I just experienced a full blown christian wedding. I am SO GLAD YOUR WEDDING WASNT THIS.
she asked to have her picture taken with every guy we walked by.
I remember telling you it was cold out because the sun was going to explode and people were going to fight for corn. I feel I've mislead you.
Drinking vodka in the bathtub.... If I don't make it, I thank you for your magical parts
Thank you for making it possible for me to get laid while having peace of mind my dog is well taken care of.
thats why a responsible adult always keeps some facial hair just in case they need to shave a hulk hogan mustache for midget wrestling...
The van in front of me contains people having SEX. I am in full view of a SEX VAN.
Is it wrong that I get drunk and let him eat me out then fall asleep? He offers me so much and yet I do nothing. I feel like a republican.
He wants to buy us a microwave. Clearly the man is going to fix my life.
Went on a blind date. Afterwards I ripped my pants off and said "it's game time". He was into it.
I gave him a BJ in the shower
I just fell and it seemed like a good idea when I was down there
Well. Another one of my exes came out of the closet.
I promised to leave my panties on but I didn't promise to not have sex
It's weird having sex with someone you actually like
Randomize
