This chick, for whatever reason, has serious "Leave your wife and kids and also break up her young marriage in order to frolick for a good 2 weeks before I realize that she's just like the rest of them and I made a huge mistake and ruined a lot of lives in the process" potential. It's SO INTRIGUING.
the recession has oofficially hit my standards.
I told him I was pregnant. Figured it would soften the blow of telling him I had herpes.
Did it?
Not as such, no.
I'm watching tv and he's trying to stick a vibrator in my ass
im pretty sure vibrators are the best invention since dinosaur chicken nuggets
i'm pretty sure i'm on the same train we took last friday..
what?how do you know?
it appears they have not cleaned up your vomit yet.
She went home with him because he works at Jimmy John's and his car "smelled like meat"
its friday night, im aone in my apartment and eating 2 year expired canned fruit, naked. i'm not single or anything..
I can't tell if they're having sex or watching the beach scene from Saving Private Ryan. All I know is I hear explosions and men screaming and crying
You have plans tonight?
Stress crying into a bottle of long island ice tea mix...other than that nope
The only difference is Iv never super glued straws to your nipples.
I would really just like to get laid somewhere that's not on a bathroom floor at this point in my life
In the middle of blowing him I looked at him and said "Your so old..." and then continued. I need to stop drinking.
We're so high we're eating flavored lube.
He ate me out while I was playing bejeweled. It was the greatest moment of my life.
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