ill give you a foot job if you come over before 4
I need to find out who his wife is so I can fuck her before he gets to mine.
you kept shouting how the only tree you would hump is an elm tree because they're under populated
She pointed at me and told her friend, I'm going to fuck him, its going to be really loud, so yes, i need the whole basement.
she just walked in and said "well, I got peed on again"...
I puked in the revolving door and had to sit down on the escalator. That hungover. It's safe to say people are judging me.
using blue streamers we found on the bathroom floor was probably not the best substitute for toilet paper.
There's a girl in the bathroom crying about something having to do with cream cheese.
Pretty sure I recall hugging our waiter from the bar last night. That also means we are NEVER going there again
He ripped off his socks and ran around the basement barefoot. His feet turned black. Then he chugged Parmesan cheese. He chugged dry cheese dude.
I'm to the point where I'm fantasizing about Iron Chefs going down on me.
But I don't wanna live with them bc I need to be able to walk around naked and sex on any surface guilt free.
He just stopped me mid blow job so he could text his wife asking for TacoBell.
Do you remember coming over and asking for toast and then singing that yeah toast song very loudly while you were dropping my bread all over my kitchen?
I’m not sure she knows my name. She introduced me as “the fuck toy”
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