C thinks vomiting on the batroom floor = reaon not to party. Lies. Party continues.
Come get meeee. I'm stranded in the middle of no where with Paul (?). I think u puked on his friend.
New high or new low? Cat walked into the bathroom while I was taking a #2, looked @ me, sneezed and walked out..
Why are we friends again?
My scrabble letters just formed failure. Thanks God.
he's 25, hott, and leaving for iraq tuesday, i wanna get in as much as possible...
your life is a nick sparks novel waiting to happen
Half my make-up was stuck to his thigh where I'd fallen asleep after the blowjob.
My liver is crying. And I feel like I got fingered by Edward Scissorhands. While he was wearing brass knuckles
Trumps. I've been wiping my ass with fast food napkins for 3 days.
I think I'm goin to jail but either way I had a blast.
dude, we need a reunion soon, my vagina needs a deep massage. The kitty is ready to play
I woke up half naked on the floor next to his bed, and his cat was staring at me like it had seen everything that i myself don't remember..
It was going great until he started saying "ooh kill em" under his breath with each thrust
I caught a glimpse of his penis. I can only imagine what your mom's vagina goes through because of that penis
Chick in the reindeer getup puked on Baby Jesus last night. But then she bought us all empanadas so she's cool.
I was giving this fat lawyer a table dance and he asked me if I would be willing to play with his long, hard stick of the law. And you want me to stop drinking at work?
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