Mr. Last Night just informed me I told him to be very quiet when he left this morning and high-fived him as a goodnight kiss. Drunk me is slutty and manly.
Alex texted me. Bootycall boy #2. its like an alarm goes off once i'm single that the line is open again
all i remember thinking as i was puking my intestines out is : wow.. this toilet does look like it's from the future.
Wow, Pearl Harbor and The Notebook are on. Its like the Im going to kill myself marathon.
Yea...but the guy who is beating me has a ponytail. So actually, I'm the winner here.
She laid down on my bed and played "I want you to want me" on my laptop. subtle.
Definitely got drunk and sent her a literal picture of my asshole. I titled it " you"
Slutapocalypse this thursday. Invite every freshieee you hooked up with this semester to my house. Think of it like a meet n greet for them and battle of the sluts for us.
The only way to make beer can wizard staffs any better is to sew your own wizards robe and hat to go along with it. welcome to tuesday nights at my new apartment
Highlight of the week: I had sex with a B movie star wearing an eye patch.
I appreciate the I'll come bail you out of jail tone in the text
Did you ever think you lost your bong and then you find it in the weirdest place? I mean, who leaves their bong in the shower?
Nothing says Happy Thanksgiving like picking cocaine boogers out of your nose at your parents house.
not being a booty call is very strange. Who knew there was so much time for activities at night!
I just want a man in my bed on a regular basis, who cuddles, and who I can also occasionally hang out with outside of my bedroom. Is that too much to ask for?
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