think what you will about my sexuality, just get the cigarettes
fucking a dude
i mean: fucking a, dude
wow, that comma made all the difference there
sexting loses it's worth when you accidentally text your boss.
Kind of a slow process. Played 9 holes with her yesterday. Wish one of them was hers
What can i say, inner beauty is great but it makes a hard picture to jack off to
are we at that level where i can tell you your girlfriends tits looked really good yet?
She tried to kill herself by taking a whole packet of panadol. I mean HELLO THAT'S ME EVERY SUNDAY MORNING.
And by "schedule" I meant crumbled up liquor store receipt, that I wrote shit on.
Ultimate Fighter Idea. You and I both have unprotected sex with the same girl in the spam of days. Whoever the child belongs to, wins and that child is the ultimate ultimate fighter.
How high are you?
I'm trying to be celibate. I'm having me time. I'm eating cake.
And my cousin was so drunk he called an uber and instead he got into a cop car and they took him to the hospital
My sex life is driven by spite and alcohol
I woke up to a gigantic ft-long tootsie roll and a note by drunk me with the words "you're welcome"
oh, he’s out of jail btw. as of about 6pm. one of his customers bonded him out apparently lol
Like he really got a coke fiend to bond him out?
He graduated. He’s not my GA anymore. He’s just the 24 year old that’s helping me put a sexless marriage in the rear view mirror by exploring the Kama sutra with me
Randomize
