Sometimes I think its so cool that a dick that has been inside kate moss has also been inside me. So exciting.
was i over the top when i said that i wished they made v-neck pants to her?
He came and then made the Jim Halpert face. does that say disappointment or what
i'm 6 minutes and 3 drinks deep before she gets here. she's do-able for a wednesday night, but i still need to mentally prepare, ya know?
i just missed the spain goal because i was puking in the bathroom. damn you open bar.
Found a Safeway Deli Sandwich in the shower this morning... Perhaps the 9th beer was unnecessary.
We found her. She's owling on the sink in the bathroom.
How do you not remember?? She kept putting a dollar on her waistband and insisting it was all you can eat under a dollar
And then we made hashbrowns with vodka and queso.
Why is there a water bottle full of red wine on my desk this morning?
See you tonight.
WAKE UP!!! We have 20 minutes to get to class. That means we only have 10 minutes to get drunk.
I'll be thirty in eight months. I think my goal is too stop changing my pants in the parking lot at work by then.
I am so horny that I an legitimately concerned for your safety when I see you tonight.
I just masturbated at work... Don't know why but I thought you should know
He’s definitely circumcised. There’s not enough room in those speedos for a foreskin with that fire hose he’s packing.
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