I'm in a room alone pouting because I got the wrong nachos at taco bell.
just got my goo swallowed for the first time. colors seem so much more vivid now, and more rainbows are outside
DUDE DUDE I JUST GOT TH E BEST IDEA FOR A CHILDRENS BOOK "If You Give A Girl A Blow Job"
She was ugly to the point i wanted to brush my teeth after looking at her
I was on my way at Dorito Smoothie
you were wandering around the street for like an hour singing "nothing but socks on"..an original you wrote after the 12th shot i believe
Your a horrible friend, i only tried to do the right thing by moving you off the floor.. that was not an invitation to puke all over my bed and attempt to use my dog to mop it up.
I'm not sure what step "make amends" is, but my phone is on
I have to take tonight off from shenanigans. My liver is planning a coup
He had really great hair, but he told me he's been in a psych ward three times. I mean I know I'm a psych major, but that's too much.
Do you remember whose house we're in?
I am luring the porn star to my house with chicken!
My party ended early and I have a mountain of shrimp and weed
We showed up to the ER to pick him up and I was still wearing face paint from the game. Then I threw up in the sink. Those doctors did not like us at all.
I mean she's doing calculus in her head to prove how NOT drunk she is.
Randomize
