Yep Great. Apparently I didn't just say things once that night. Drink. Yell. Repeat.
U also mentioned u werent wearing any underwear hahahaha
I'm about two and a half drinks away from gay.
I'm coming over.
hey, here's something you don't have worry about since you're a girl: finding crusty cum in your bellybutton.
got arrested for "breaking and entering" last night when i supposedly went into the wrong house made a sandwich and tried jerking off to porn on the tv...the cops told me they came in while my dick was out...oh and i missed work this morning and got fired
He will not just "come" out of the closet. He will fall out, 69ing me, with two fingers in his starving asshole, wearing cum splattered lady gaga sunglasses, weeping.
That was the greatest thing i have ever read.
Hey man. We haven't met but my name is Ben. I threw up a bunch at your house last night. I heard you smoke though so I'll smoke you out anytime.
If he can forgive your lousy blowjobs, you can ignore his terrible driving.
they adjusted my tv to black and white ... i thought i drank myself to colorblindness
WHY IS IT FROWNED UPON THE DRESS UP IN CAT COSTUMES AND SIT OUTSIDE OF BARS WITH A BOX OF WINE I THOUGHT THIS WAS AMERICA
She must've been waiting down the street cause after I said I specialized in inner-thigh-face-massage it couldn't have been 2 minutes until she was on my couch.
all I got out of honors convocation is I've hooked up with a lot of smart guys
HE MIGHT HAVE YOUR BUTTHOLE, BUT HE CANT HAVE YOUR HEART. THATS MINE.
Stop letting me drink while doing my makeup. I think I used sharpie for eyeliner.
he had a cock ring. i orgasmed before he even put it in
You turned down sex for fried cheese??
My penis and doctor won't be happy with me, but come on. Fried cheese!
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