I was looking through my facebook friends list to see how many ppl on the list i've hooked up with, and was effectively reminded of my failed friendships, relationships, fuck budy-ships, friends with benefits, and "i cant remember if i ever did shit with him but we're awkward now" ships.
we did anal to Party In The USA and he busted to Firefies .. felt like we were fucking in a middle school dance
Dude she has a fucking rock collection. Never will I ever talk to her again.
He told me to pretend to be a shark, and he would slay me with his harpoon cock.
She was really sick last night--but i was too drunk to bring her chicken noodle soup after the bar, so went by taco bell and got her a chicken burrito instead
I made $300 today by selling pizza @ $4 a slice to nerds who refuse to leave the library. God I love finals time
It was a sobriety test blowjob. If he could get it up, he could get me home.
I'll just dance on top of the ping pong table, and if it's stable enough for that, then it's stable enough for sex
Hooked up with 8 guys, puked 4 times, got a few bruises, and my face is still numb... I think this visit has truly impacted my college decision
Wanna smoke some ancient weed I just found in a box of cake mix?
Went home w the NY Islander in a NY Rangers jersey, needless to say he was pissed
Welp, just took a tab of acid and cracked one of three bottles of champagne... Mondays ¯\\_(ツ)_/¯
Turns out that Irishman put my panties under his pillow afterward. Thanks?
Dude we just exchanged Zelda related pickup lines. I fell in love at "you can blow on my ocarina"
We are bad people. This is why we are friends. <3
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